I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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