Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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