need another drink. this is the easiest way
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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