i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
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I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize