Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
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I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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