I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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