Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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