I can tuck mytits in my pants
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
i now understand why vodka
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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