I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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