I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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