We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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