I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize