I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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