just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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