Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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