I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
The power of my boobs compel you
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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