She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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