His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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