I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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