He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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