I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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