You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize