none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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