i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize