I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be still, my beating vagina.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize