i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
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who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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