I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
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What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
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I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
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