I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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