Pregnant stripper...not hot.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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