i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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