I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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