Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize