What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize