If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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