Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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