You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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