you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
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He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
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I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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