Do you still have your period?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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