Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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