You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
She bit a glass in half.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize