had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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