if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
4 words: hood of his car
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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