Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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