She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize