I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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