what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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