That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
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i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
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Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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