you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
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she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
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I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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