He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
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All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
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the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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