Ambien. No doubt about it.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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